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He made me feel so guilty about my Spanish blood, what there is
of it.
When a child is born as a result of rape and the woman's family treats
the child as an outsider and poorly that is absolutely cruel. If anyone
needs to feel badly and ashamed it should be the rapist not the victims
or the children of the victims or the grandchildren of the victims or
the great grandchildren of the victims, etc..
The Yndio and The Black blood in me is mixed with my Spanish blood. Yes
the Spanish did terrible horrible unspeakable things to my people but
now my people are, "Los Yndios, Los Negros, Los Espanoles." I can't
survive if I hate part of myself. We have to realize that we are one
people and are strong and intelligent and proud and everything and as
much as any other peoples on this earth. No difference.
I love it when I find that certain of my lines continue to indicate
that they were Espanoles. Not because I'm more proud of the Espanol in
me that I am of the Yndio or Black, but only because I so much love my
genealogy and finding the next generation and the fact that they are
Espanoles gives me hope that a generation or two more might have
records available whereas if they were Yndios the trail will fade most
likely.
If I could prove that I was 100% Espanol maybe I'd feel different, I
don't think so because we need to do whatever we can to put ourselves
at peace with ourselves. I think its enough to realize our relatives
did bad things but I don't think its reasonable for us to suffer for
their iniquities. They sinned, They will stand before God, I will stand
proud of what I am!
If it were me and that Inca said that to me I would have
said as proudly as I could that my Aztecs could have pounded his Incas
to a pulp. . .he dicho!
joseph
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